Come

Breathe on me

Reveal the mysteries

Of your steadfast love

Melt my heart to tears

Open your word

That I may see

Delicacies of Truth

Restore these brittle bones

Teach me to Hope

In you alone

I lift my eyes

To the hills of Salvation

Unlock the hidden things

Found within the folds

Of your splendor

My heart burns for you

Lead the way

Up the mountain of sacrifice

I raise the knife

To find your provision

Come morning light

Warm my sinful soul

Shred my pride

That I may gaze on beauty

thankful

you could have allowed me

to remain

enslaved to my false hopes

of idealism.

it would have been easy

to watch me carry on

for another four years,

twinkle-tapping in sparkly

fairytales that were

never meant to be.

but you are faithful and merciful,

a gracious father

who longs to give of your goodness

and so you broke me.

the well manicured walls 

of self-protection

came tumbling down

while my soul drown

in pools of salty tears.

rising up were the jewels

of contrition and brokenness

so that i can stand

in the hope of your love.

emmanuel

the word of god

is food for my soul.

where does my help come from?

from where

does the source of 

life spring forth?

it is in the quiet place.

the tabernacle of my heart

where the spirit of the living god dwells.

nothing else 

can satisfy the depravity

of my shattered soul

but the one who calls himself

emmanuel.

hungry

my soul is thirsty

for the life that

comes from 

the spirit of god.

come oh holy god

and breathe

on these bones that are 

as dry as the dust of the earth.

as deep cries out to deep

so my soul calls

out to christ my savior.

to be like a tree 

planted next to the 

satisfying riverbed

is the longing of my heart.

here i am 

communing with the

one my heart loves.

and here i ask -

hold me close to your bosom

and speak tenderly

with the wind of your spirit.

one thing

in all of life

there is but one thing,

to seek after

the burning heart of the

father almighty

to bow before his throne

and send forth the

fragrance of worship

to sit with eyes wide open

and gaze upon the

beauty of the lord.

in all of life

there is but one thing,

to arise to the beckoning

of the bridegroom

and partner with love

to dwell in the house

of the gracious redeemer

singing songs of intimacy

to wait and take heart

for the one who

leads beside quiet waters.

in all of life

there is but one thing,

to restfully lie

in the safety

of his dwelling place

to be protected by

the shelter of his tabernacle

and rest my head

upon his breast

to be transformed

by the fiery kiln

of radiant intercession.

in all of life

there is but one thing,

to look to him

with cheeks that are

void of shame

to run towards the

irresistible grace

of the one who

bides me to come

to delight

sitting in his shade

and eat the fruits

of his goodness.

in all of life

there is but one thing,

to position myself

in a posture of humility

and fill my lamp

with oil

to wash the feet

of the one

whose sandals i am

not worthy to touch

to be baptized

by the sweetness

of him

who was, and is, and is to come.

deuteronomy 8:2-10

be careful that 

you do not forget

the lord your god.

remember -

remember when god

led you away from

 your comforts, safety, and familiarity

into the land of the unknown.

this land that is called

the desert

became the hands

that stripped you

of every form fitting facade.

the desert posed as

the loosening force

to unclench your

white knuckles that gripped

the rope of control.

in the desert

you were left

naked, alone, and vulnerable.

the only company was

your sin and a mirror

with your broken

image reflecting from deep within.

be careful that

you do not forget

the lord your god.

remember -

remember when god

led you away in

order to test you

so that what is 

in your heart

could be illuminated by grace.

this test bore

the face of depression

producing dark nights

without the hope of dawn.

the test grew

to become your character

of perseverance

with each step taken

towards the cross of redemption.

with this test you lay 

prostrate.

completely humbled

so that all that remained

was him that is 

in you.

be careful that

you do not forget

the lord your god.

remember -

remember when god

fed you with truths

of your identity.

naming you

beloved, daughter, and bride.

with this food

you began to arise

with the light of hope

flickering in the distant

good land.

the food was your portion

that held you through

the testing desert

in order to call you by name.

be careful that 

you do not forget

the lord your god.

remember -

remember when god

provided as you 

walked in his ways.

the salt from you tears

transformed into

drops of olive oil

dripping from a heart of praise.

these gifts took on

new tastes.

instead of the bitterness 

of anguish under your tongue

lay the sweetness

of honey and pomegranates.

your parched soul

was quenched

with streams and pools of water.

provisions that were 

never scarce

filling your ever need.

lacking nothing

completely satisfied.

be careful that 

you do not forget

the lord your god.

remember -

remember when god

led you to the desert

tested your heart

fed you with truth

and provided your everything.

praise him!

praise his name

and do not forget.

ash wednesday selah

my bones

they are wasting away

the sin 

of my soul

is too hideous to reveal.

in silent hiding

i must remain.

but dare i

acknowledge

the veiled ugliness?

selah...

day and night

your hand

it is so heavy

crushing, pressing down

upon me.

the strength

of my flesh wilts

as in the heat

of summer's sun.

all day long

groaning seeps from

every fiber of my being.

this pain is too great.

but dare i

acknowledge

the veiled ugliness?

selah...

my eyes

grow weaker still

with the sorrow and grief

that consumes me.

the affliction

of my heart

crushes the spirit

within.

brokenhearted i remain

alone, cold, and anguished.

but dare i 

acknowledge the veiled ugliness?

selah...

untiring hands

stretch forth

in the emptiness of my night.

again i refuse

your comfort to my soul

it is easier here

the familiarity of sin

has become a companion.

my silence

strengthens its deceptive

friendship.

but dare i

acknowledge

the veiled ugliness?

selah...

forsaken i have become

who can save me?

the pain

of my loneliness

strangles the light

holding me hostage

as a prisoner of inequities.

the troubles of

my heart

have conceived and filled

my life with despair.

there is only silence.

but dare i 

acknowledge

the veiled ugliness?

selah...